


Pronouns

by Hopscotch714



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Comfort fic, F/F, Gender Fluid Mikey HC, I just had some incidents happen lads and I needed to make a comfort fic for myself, Mikey-centric - Freeform, Oh yeah Human AU, Respect HeadCanons but don't force them dudes, every incident that happens in the fic happened to me, it's completely self indulgent, just a single oneshot, like major comfort fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:47:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29975523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopscotch714/pseuds/Hopscotch714
Summary: Mikey's path through self discovery isn't necessarily a fun one.
Relationships: April O'Neil/Sunita (TMNT)
Kudos: 12





	Pronouns

Michael had gone through some pretty confusing times during his life. Growing up, being treated as a girl had always felt sort of strange. Not in a bad way, but it always felt a little off, like looking for a cookie in the cookie jar and finding a carrot instead. It's an odd feeling that was confusing, but he never really dwelled on it and it wasn't much of an issue until middle school. 

His world had always been he and his family. Sure, he made friends and  _ hell _ , if he wasn't brilliant at making friends, but somehow things changed in Middle School, and he was criticized for being the only kid who didn't really like the standard uniform for the girls and instead stuck to strictly pants, or being energetic and childish. Sticking his tongue in his nose and flipping his eyelids weren't really cool anymore. 

He didn't really get when and  _ why _ people seemed to be eager to grow up. They were just in Middle School, so why couldn't he act wild and all over the place anymore? Besides, the other kids were still pretty loud and rambunctious, anyway. 

His oldest brother, Raph, was in Highschool before any of them, and he remembers feeling bad because the poor guy didn't have a good first year. He was as soft and gentle as a teddy bear, but his large physique intimidated people far too easily, and teachers treated him like an idiot for his lacking smarts. However, his talents lay in Band and PE, so Mikey's thankful his brother can fit in somewhere. 

The next one, Donnie, was a tech wizard and despite his insistence on being the "Emotionless Bad Boy" and such, he's actually pretty friendly and made plenty of friends in his many,  _ many _ different clubs where he boasts and shows off his many talents. His teachers praised him and Mikey's even heard talk of him being sent to college early. 

Leo's popular, alright. He's a natural with basketball and skateboarding, flirty and charismatic, goofy and never stops dropping puns. He doesn't seem to care much for school, but he's got the second highest grades, despite never turning his work in on time. Their father's convinced that the only reason his grades are "decent" is because he gets his answers right and turns them in horrendously late. Sometimes his teachers don't even accept his assignments. Donnie constantly scolds him for it and always seems frustrated that their brother can naturally get the answers right while he studies almost religiously. 

He's got a natural curiosity for the world. 

While… Michael's gifts are cooling and art, neither of which are very useful in school. He was horrible with math, decent with English, okay with Biology, and not really close to the grades he was expected to have with his other classes. 

Growing up, standing aside his brothers, he always felt a mix of pride and jealousy. 

In seventh grade, he'd met April O'Neil, a new girl who had transferred in the middle of the year. At the time, Michael wasn't necessarily… Michael. 

Everyone seemed to pick on April after a while, but he thought she was pretty cool so he tried to befriend her and after a while, they hit off and he was glad because,  _ wow _ , was she awesome. 

Eventually he introduced her to his brothers and their friend group at lunch and Adam, a guy on Leo's basketball team, made a passing joke while shoveling potatoes into his mouth about how Michael now had a partner to play dress up with. 

And, again, he'd felt off in that moment but shrugged it off, and soon they all ate in peace- or well, as peaceful as it could be when it had Leo and Adam arm wrestling while Donnie placed bets on who'd win with Kendra, while Dale sat somewhere down the table quietly with his twin sister and munched on a sandwich. 

But it was comfortable, and that's all he could ever ask for. 

Near the end of the year, April confided in him with a secret she'd never really told anyone;

"I've got a girlfriend, and- and she's really sweet and she wanted to meet you for a Girl's Night!" She finished with a quirky smile. 

And he had to smile back because, well, her smiles were infectious. 

He ignored the strange pit in his stomach at the words. 

He met the girl, Sunita, and they all went out shopping for clothes and stopped by a restaurant (which he offered to pay for, and when met with confusion he accidentally slips out that his father is THE Lou Jitsu, and they lose their shit over this), and it's late at night when he realizes that, wow, this is the first time he's ever interacted with people like that. 

Not that he'd thought there was something wrong with it, but he realized he'd never really met a lesbian or hung out with two of them or anything. It was a weird feeling and eventually he grew curious and decided to look into it. 

And that's when he finally starts learning a little bit about his gender identity. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


At first he'd thought he was trans. He'd mulled over it for around two weeks before deciding to tell his father, who accepted him with a warm smile, and his brothers, who congratulated him as "one of the boys" and they all had one big sleepover in the living room and binged Lou Jitsu movies. 

And for a while, that's everything he wanted, but still… After his pronouns changed around, he felt kind of odd. Like there was a piece still missing, like he hadn't come to the real conclusion yet. At first he assumed it was because he was still adjusting to the sudden change in pronouns; going 13 years being referred to as one thing and then suddenly you're referred to as another-it's got to be a  _ bit  _ strange. 

But the feeling didn't go away. It would persist at random times, a strange feeling in his gut on random days when his brothers called out his new name. But he'd already chosen this path for himself, he decides. He'd already told people that he was a he, so he couldn't really tell them he wasn't anymore, could he? 

After around 6 months of this strange limbo he'd learned about it. 

The first person he shared the idea with was Raph. Raph was the most understanding of his brothers and took the time to listen to them and tried his best to help them when needed. 

And his brother didn't really get it at first, but he accepted Michael for who he was and his heart swelled with joy and emotion that he almost cried. 

He told the rest of his family, which ended in yet another group hug, and from then on, they respected his pronouns and always double checked what he was. 

It wasn't until… He tried to tell their stepfather, Draxum (Or Dray, they all affectionately called him after Leo constantly made fun of his odd name and the guy had enough and told them to call him Dray), their father's boyfriend, that he was gender fluid and he simply stared at him for a few moments before denying it and telling him that there was no such thing. 

It hurt. 

Michael grew up with a lot more acceptance in his life than rejection, so hearing that after everyone gave him overwhelmingly positive reactions completely shattered his heart. 

He remembers he couldn't process it at first. He just stared at Dray, mouth locked tight in a frown while Raph angrily started yelling at him, which slowly escalated into a full blown argument between Leo, Raph, and Draxum while Donnie left to call their father and Mikey began blanking out. The words kept replaying in his head over and over and over and-

And he didn't notice Leo calling his name while he absentmindedly walked out of the house and down the street. 

He'd had no idea where he was going until he'd realized he was at April and Sunita's apartment. 

Apprehensively, he reached up to knock. Once, twice, and a third time. Tears burned his eyes and his throat clogged up when the door opened to reveal a worried Sunita, who ushered him in and offered him some orange juice while April wrapped him up in a blanket and that was when it all came  _ out.  _ He confessed about everything while bawling, and his heart was clenching so badly because, well, he  _ loved  _ Draxum. He'd been dating their father for a year and they were all sure the guy was gonna marry Pops, who refused to really get involved with anyone after their mother died years ago. 

Leo and Donnie had some problems with Draxum when it came to occasional arguments and small bits of defiance, but he adored the guy and hearing him reject him like that felt like getting his heart torn out. 

That was the first time he'd had to deal with someone being rude towards his gender identity. 

Their father had broken up with Draxum for a while, but sooner rather than later Draxum tried to change his views and apologized and the two are, currently, working out their relationship. 

  
  
  


The next time, it was with a friend. She hadn't come out to the school but she absolutely did tell her small group of friends, which included a girl, Catherine, who she'd had a difficult relationship with. 

After nearly a year of knowing her, she'd overheard Catherine talking shit about her gender to some other kids, about how it was "bullshit" and that there were only two gender identities, and that if she'd ever had kids she'd pray to any god that'd listen that they wouldn't end up the same way. 

Michael was extremely upset and confused, not sure what to do with their already crumbling friendship and in the end, she'd given it up and the entire friend group had a falling out. Luckily, Donnie comforted her with food and a movie night and after a few weeks, things began to look brighter. 

  
  
  
  


The last time they hear something about their gender was just a few hours earlier. They were beginning to get explicitly clear with who they were, no longer really hiding it from school and would often wear skirts and dresses or huge goodies and jeans, or basketball shorts and beanies and well-- Mikey loved clothes. 

They were sixteen, in their Sophomore year. Leo and Raph in their Junior years (their brother got held back a grade) and Donnie was living in a dorm at a nearby college. It was a free dress day and they'd gone with some pretty flashy clothes and jewelry when they'd overheard April shouting in the hallway in front of the girl's restroom. 

"Say another  _ word _ and you're gonna have to step up to  _ me _ , girl." She'd shouted angrily, and Mikey felt their heart plummet when they'd realized she was more than likely to get into another fight. 

They began to walk faster when the next sentence made them pause-

"Oh come on, what do you know? You'll see, the poor girl's just confused. Eventually she'll get out of her ass and realize that the world doesn't revolve around her and that she's gotta be herself like the rest of us." 

_ "The poor girl's just confused." _

_ Just confused.  _

_ Confused.  _

_ "It's bullshit and I hope you realize this," she remembers hearing. "You better not fuck up any more people with your dumb ass, Venus."  _

_ That's not my name.  _

_ "No. That's not how gender works. There's only… You can only be a boy or a girl. You can't be both."  _

_ "She's just doing it to get attention. Ignore her."  _

_ "Look at her, she thinks she's so fucking quirky. What a bitch."  _

Michael felt like vomiting. 

Slowly, they backed away and left school, walking all the way back home and collapsing on the couch, rolling up into a ball and crying softly. They don't remember falling asleep but when they wake up, they realize that something changed and… 

Well, he didn't want to be awake, so he dozed back to sleep, still curled up on the couch as their cat Shelldon curled up next to him and he finds himself wondering why the world was fucked up. 

  
  


"Psst… Mikey?" 

He groans softly, hugging Shelldon closer to his chest and burying his face into the cushion, a soft murmur on his lips when he s the voice to leave him alone. 

"Mikey, it's Spring Break. I'm here to visit but… School doesn't end until an hour?" 

His eyes shoot open and he finds himself in a staring contest with Donnie, who's checking his watch and frowning at him with a concerned gaze. "Hey little guy, everything doing okay?" He asks, and Mikey almost laughs because he's used to Raph speaking that way, and he realizes that Donnie must've picked up that it comforts him and was trying it out. 

"I'm," he pauses, trying to find the right words. He doesn't think his brothers could understand, but they try their best so there's no need to keep anything from them. 

"I heard somebody saying stuff about me again." He breathes, biting his lip and petting Shelldon. He should be used to this, he thinks. It was annoying how people couldn't accept or respect him for who he was, but at the same time he couldn't change everyone so the best thing he could and  _ should  _ do is look away and ignore it. But every time he hears the discrimination, the words- they burned into his heart and his mind, never truly leaving him alone as he finds the memroeis catching him at the most inconvenient times. 

He sneaks a glance at Donnie's face and flinches. His brother looks downright  _ livid.  _

"Where's Dad?" he demands, pulling out his phone and already typing away on it for- well, Michael wasn't sure. 

"Erm," he starts awkwardly, "At work. There's a new movie he's working on. He won't be home for a week." He hums slightly before adding, "He's out of town."

Donnie pats his head, ruffling his hair and says, "I'll be right back, buddy."

  
  
  


Hours later, he's got a sniffling Raph hugging him and Leo sitting in the corner plotting murder with April and Sunita. Donnie and Draxum were talking about poison and Mikey appreciates them all but he realizes how out of control the situation is and he whimpers quietly, just wanting a quiet evening. 

He's glad that Raph isn't trying to kill anyone though, and receiving his big brother's warm hugs are always the best. 

Eventually Raph realizes what the rest of the family is doing and tries to take control, scolding them and making sure that  _ no  _ poison was being made. 

Eventually, they all piled on the couch (excluding Draxum, who went to his room) and watched TV, and Michael felt warm because, well, they're his family and they've all got each other's backs and they all love each other. 

"I love you guys." He tells them. 

"Ditto on that." 

"I loaf you, too." 

"Loaf? I- hey, Leo, is that  _ my _ bread?" 

"... No." 

"Did you just stuff it down- you could've choked!! And that's MY BREAD!!!" 

"Not anymore it's not!" 

Mikey sighed, smiling softly. They were his brothers, alright. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi.
> 
> I love the idea of gender fluid Mikey, since I'm gender fluid personally, and recently I've had some people talking shit about me and I felt the need to express that in some way and voila. Here we are. I can explain the small incidents if needed. 
> 
> The Draxum part was a bit difficult because it reflects when I came out to my mother as gender fluid a while after coming out to her as trans. The way they both reacted are exactly the same and to this day she's still pretty... Ugh about it. I didn't want to use Splinter as the parental figure because I figured it seemed out of character and a totally not Splinter thing to do, but I could try with Draxum and, y'know, I like the way it turned out. 
> 
> The friend group part is reflecting a group of friends I had that fell apart a year ago. One of them, Angel, and I had a difficult friendship. We were previously dating and it was extremely toxic and we tried to be friends but that fell apart, too. I accidentally overheard her once talking shit about my gender and I didn't write the full extent here but it was pretty awful. 
> 
> The last part happened a few hours ago. My girlfriend tried to deck someone for talking shit about my gender and things kinda went downhill from there, but she comforted me and I told her not to punch people so it's good. I'm really happy to have her, she's sweet. She's also a gremlin, but she's very adorable.


End file.
